We all want a good wedding – be it big or small. We plan for months and in some cases, years, spending endless amounts of time researching hairstyles, wedding looks, themes, dresses, centre pieces, I could go on but you get the picture.
Looking back at my own wedding, I thoroughly enjoyed wedding planning (I am an organization freak). I loved researching, maintaining task lists and timetables. I especially loved the feeling of crossing things off my list once complete.
Despite having great memories of my wedding week (FYI we are talking about a BIG FAT INDIAN wedding with 300 British and American guests), the question always remains – could I have planned it better? Could I have stopped the mistakes?
Why are we our own worst critics?
Weddings cost an arm and leg. Actually let’s face it, more like an arm, a leg and all of your organs. We negotiate prices until we are blue in the face. When it comes to weddings, especially Indian weddings, guests come in mass numbers and people want to party like its 1999. Competition is fierce and everyone wants the biggest party, biggest centre pieces, best DJ, best makeup artist, best photographer, best everything! (P.S. If you would like to know any of the UK vendors I used for my Indian and Registry weddings please email me at: firstname.lastname@example.org and I will be happy to share)
But why do we put ourselves under so much pressure? It’s just a wedding at the end of the day. Isn’t happiness and a successful marriage what really counts!?
For me it was the small things like table co-ordination, thank you notes, making a collection of pictures, printing the wedding explanations, having a ‘welcome to the wedding week’ banner, making a detailed itinerary and assembling my card board cut out of the Queen (it was for the Americans) that actually made my wedding that extra bit personable.
Of course the night before my wedding day, panic and anxiety began to take over. I was still writing a to-do list at 2am, having only just washed hair it frizzed into a big, dry hay stack (like Monica’s hair in Friends). I stood in my hotel room weeping and eating a rotten banana. I couldn’t stop worrying. My sister snapped me out of my melt down, finished off all that needed doing (including writing thank you notes on my behalf) and put my frizz head to bed. Thank god for my sissy.
On the day of the wedding, 90% of what I had spent months planning turned out just like I had planned. However, no wedding is perfect and the smallest errors started to appear throughout the day. Trust my luck.
For me the first mishap appeared when I noticed my evening decor was put out for lunch. Great! The blue ribbons on chairs, the blue backdrop, and the table runners were already set and everyone had already seen them. I felt a rush of hot air built up inside me and I wanted to scream. After months of going over the same thing with the events planner, THEY STILL GOT IT WRONG!
Secondly my husband was not feeling very well, and we almost had to cancel the reception. Through shivers and tummy cramps, somehow, he managed to find the strength to go on but my anxiety and worry that had taken over.
Next, when I reached the cake cutting table, my engraved wedding knife was missing and had been replaced by a small butter knife.
At that point I took a deep breath, smiled and cut the wedding cake. I was ready to party god damnit. The point is, by the time I had realized these errors I couldn’t change them. Did anyone notice these details..? Did anyone notice these details..?Let’s just say after a glass of wine or two probably not!
Food for thought.
Throughout my whole wedding extravaganza I guess what I learnt is, no matter how much planning you do, and whether you delegate duties or not (some of us can’t let go of our inner Bridezilla), there are things you just cannot control. I think in today’s world of fantastic and flamboyant weddings, we sometimes lose sight of the meaning of the day and forget to have a little fun.
So was my wedding perfect…? Maybe the finer details were lost, but I got married to the man I loved which was the most important thing. I forgot about the small details and was thankful my husband survived the day without feeling any worse. We had a blast.